| | So this is the end, i can't take any more, so i plain and simple give up.
Let the fasad fall, let the masquerade end. I am not happy as your friend, I'm not even fooling my self anymore. I want you back. Simple as that. But you say it wouldn't work, so fine, I give up. I wish you all the happiness with your new boyfriend ( or whatever he is ), for you deserve to be truely happy. You say you've ruined for your self in the past because you don't want to loose me. Well, newsflash, you will loose me. I'm sorry, but it's the bitter truth, I cannot be your friend, I've tried that for so long, It doesn't work. But knowing myself, i'll go back to wearing a mask, pretending everything is ok, because after all, why should I still hurt from loosing you ey ? I don't think people realise how deep our bond go, I think you have come to realise that, and thats probably all that matters. We know what it is, and why it is there. But still, nomatter what pain I feel, tomorrow, or the day after, I will be back where I was, pretending to be your friend, pretending everything is great. IT'S NOT GREAT ! IT'S FUCKED UP!, There, I had to get that part out.
So to continue the rambling ( Yes, I have sincere doubts that this is anything aside from rambling, there is no structure what so ever. ). I realised after I dropped you off why i had been so happy all day. It was because I was going to see you. That's the pure naked reality. I Love you ! unconditionally, and fully. But yeah, You don't want me back, so what am I supposed to do ? I'll move away, I'll hope you find happiness, and that I will one day find someone to love like I love You.
You know, I don't think I care about anything anymore. I've finally lost the last shred of sanity.
Good bye my friends, the daniel you knew is fading away, soon he will be gone. And then you will meet the new me, the cold, uncaring me. It is my last defense, all else has failed, I have no option but to remove myself from my emotions, before I go insane.
A good night to you all, and may god, or whatever diety you pray to, watch over you and guard you.
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| | Posted 11/25/2006 2:00 AM - 1 View - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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